Jazz Fenton's Heck 2: The Epic Odyessy
by Insane Guy of DOOM
Summary: The following sequel is very random. It contains a search for lost parents, canibalistic vegitarians, smelly hobos, and super intelligent Irish Badgers. OC's, crossovers and major DXS await you in Jazz Fenton's Heck 2! On Hiatus.
1. Prologue

This is incredible. I'm posting the prologue of Jazz Fenton's Heck 2 already! YEAH!  
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Jazz Fenton's Heck 2: The Epic Odyssey Prologue

Millennia ago there was a time when Orcs, Trolls, acid wash jeans (with holes in the on purpose! Dragons, walkmans, Dinosaurs and various animals from World of Warcraft. But the most incredible were the Super Intelligent Scottish Beavers. They built an underwater city in Loch Ness (and created the Loch Ness Monster rumors to scare away pesky realtors) and lived peacefully until that terrible day…

A troll named Slegg who lived in Gadgestsian was exited about the opening of THE HARDWARE STORE! He was walking on air and could barley brush his teeth or comb his hair! He'd been waiting since last June! He was so happy (HAPPY) just to be alive! He joyfully told everyone he knew about the big day including the Beavers.

Everyone knows Beavers love places were you can go by bolts and screws. But when they returned our rodent friends discovered that their underwater civilization had been obliterated by their greatest enemy. They ran to various parts of Europe and finally made it to Oregon the Beaver state. Yet the enemy followed them there. Using a tractor beam the bad peoples crashed the moon smack dab into Oregon. And so the Super Intelligent Scottish Beavers began their eternal search for a homeland continued again until they found Fenton Works. But who were the enemy you ask? The most terrifying race imaginable, there name a lone sends shivers down the spine of any rodent. They are the Super Intelligent Irish Badgers.


	2. The Adventure Begins I guess

Chapter 1…

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Jazz Fenton's Heck 2 Chapter 1: The Adventure Begins I guess.

It was a normal day at Fenton Works I guess. Well as normal as it could ever be since the events of Jazz Fenton's Heck. BUT TODAY SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN!!! Jazz knocked on the door of her little brother and sister-in-law's room. Nothing happened so she put her ear to the door.

Sam: No Danny, my body produced this for out children, not you!

Danny: But I'm starving.

Oh did I forget to mention? You see Danny and Sam's children were born a month ago, twins named Erika and James (thanks angel4u185). They both had ghost powers and are kind of creepy at times; they scare me.

Jazz: Come on Danny, Sam, niece and nephew who are to young to understand me! We're going to find our parents!

Sam: I'm trying to feed the kids and Danny's not making it easy. Can we look for them later?

Jazz: Sam, we've been waiting for 10 months its time to find them. That's enough.

Sam: Fine. (Getting dressed a making a diaper bag noises.)

While Danny and Sam got ready Jazz waited outside where Beaver #1 ran up to her.

Beaver #1: Who must leave now! You're loved ones who we like much more than you are in grave danger!  
The two married lovebirds came out of their room, Danny holding Erika and Sam holding James.

D+S: What's going on?

Beaver #1: The super-intelligent Irish badgers are on their way!

To be continued…

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Next time the epic odyssey begins in Chapter 2: Hobo.


	3. Hobo

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom, World of Warcraft (Where Dirti, Slegg, and Mulch's Minion are from.) I only own the Hobo (which is based on the one from Invader ZIM that I do not own) and the Super intelligent Scottish beavers and the Super Intelligent Irish Badgers.

Jazz Fenton's Heck 2: Hobo

Danny, Sam, Beaver #1, Jazz, and Erika and James (they were in a stroller being pushed by Aunt Jazz) were on their way to a being the Beavers only referred to as Hobo. In a lovey dovey state Danny decided to give his wife a friendly piggyback ride that ended in terror.

Danny: (Struggling) Sam! What have you been eating? Ahh! (Collapses)

Sam: WEE! Do it again!

Jazz: (Annoyed) Come on you two.

Finally the group of weirdo's entered a dark alley. Beaver #1 beckoned them towards a door and they entered.

Inside was a dark room, it smelled of meat and ham and VOMIT! There in the center laid on a mountain of garbage was a hideously fat being. Mostly his enormous beard covered him. Jazz nearly fainted from it when she saw foot-long cockroaches crawling through said beard.

Hobo: Who dares enter my lair?

Jazz: We do.

Beaver #1: O great and mighty Hobo, we seek the stinky one's parents.

Hobo: Well I do have a map saying where they are but I must get something in return.

Danny: (Picks up Beaver #1) Here you go! (Throws him at Hobo)

Beaver #1: No you idiot! (Is swallowed by Hobo)

Hobo: (Belch) Ahh that was some good rodent. Here's the map. (Tosses map at Danny) And for being so generous I shall summon a guide to assist you.

A portal appeared and stuff, out of it came a strange figure. He was about two feet tall and a Gnome.

Gnome: Do wanna join my guild? I'm Dirti!

Sam: Well Dirti what's it called?

Dirti: It's called Knights of the Totally Awesome and Happy Making Friendly Time!

Sam: Sorry, I don't go near anything with the words "Happy" "Friendly" or "Awesome" in it.

Dirti: Well what if I changed the name to Knights of the Totally Not Awesome and Happy Making Friendly Time?

Then Danny ghostly wailed Dirti into oblivion.

Hobo: Oops, wrong guide. Here's the real guy.

Out of the portal a troll emerged.

Troll: Hello man, my name is Slegg.

Beaver #1: (From inside Hobo's mouth) You're the one who caused the destruction of our entire civilization!

Slegg: But I got to go to the Hardware Store! There're rows of socket wrenches in a plethora styles all arraigned alphabetically! And those hack saws very, very soon one of them will be all mine! And I got a pair of pliers for every single room in my house! (Jazz: Enough!)

Slegg: Sorry man.

Jazz: Let's go!

Danny: Thank you Hobo.

Hobo: (Belch)

The group marched off unknown that they were being watched, especially Slegg…

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Oo conflict on they way. Also the part where Danny gives Sam a piggyback ride was going to be its own story but I just put it here. The reason for it is I have seen many pictures of Danny doing such a thing but in reality I doubt our scrawny friend could hold that kind of wait for very long. But it's still cute! Note after re waching Zinwrath the Movie I discovered I had the name of Dirti's guild wrong so now it has been edited.


	4. The Cruddy Flashback Chapter

Jazz Fenton's Heck 2: The Cruddy Flashback Chapter

1 month earlier Danny and Sam were in the hospital and Sam was in labor.

Dr.: Push push! For the love of all things good push!

Sam: (panting) AHH!

Finally a new sound entered the room. It filled everyone in the room's hearts with joy (But not literally because can't be filled with anything but blood, heartworms, and artery clogging cholesterol.) it was the sound of a baby crying.

Nurse: It's a boy it's a girl!

Danny: Make up your mind already!

Dr.: It's both. (Holds up babies)

Danny and Sam: Twins! (Sam had refused to get an ultrasound through her entire pregnancy)

Dr.: We'll leave you four alone. (Hands babies to Sam)

Sam: Awe, what should we name them?

Danny: Okay (points at male baby) he can be Danny Jr. and (points at female baby) she can be Sam Jr.

Sam: Try again Mr. No creativity.

Danny: How about Danielle and Samuel?

Sam: No?  
Danny: (Joking) James and Erika?

Sam: Very funny.

The nurse unfortunately didn't know that Danny and Sam were joking and next thing the lovebirds knew those were the names of their children.

Danny: Well that could have gone better.

Sam: I kind of like those names.

Danny: Well then, James and Erika Fenton: Welcome to the world!

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I know this one was kind of mushy but I felt that James and Erika's names needed to be explained more. Next funny update will be on Tuesday with Sloshed Away. (If you can guess what that's a spoof of you get a special reward.


	5. Sloshed Away

Jazz Fenton's Heck 2: Sloshed Away

Nobody like cruddy flashbacks, nobody likes zombie wiener dogs either but that's in another part of the story. While the previous chapter in fact was a cruddy flashback in the real fake world our heroes (I think they are heroes) had followed the map into a sewer. It was cold and damp. Danny had used his ghost form to make an ecto light thingy like in Urban Jungle (More foreshadowing)!

Slegg: I'm tired man we need to rest.

Jazz: We're in a sewer for Pete's sake! Where on Earth could we rest?

Danny: How about in that Internet Café!

Jazz, Sam, and Slegg: Huh.

Danny: There! (Points at an Internet Café.)

It truly was strange to find such a place in the sewers but no one cared. Slegg had passed out on a booth, Jazz was on her 17th cup of coffee, Sam was playing with James and Erika, and Danny was having the time of his life pressing the "l" button the "L" button on a keyboard sot it looked like "lLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLlLl".

Jazz: (Really fast) What the heck are you doing?

Danny: Typing. Wee!

Danny then sped up the rate at which he pressed the buttons so smoke started to come out of the circuits.

Danny: That's not good.

Slug Bar Tender: AHHHH!

Slegg: (Who was woken up by the slugs high pitched scream) RUN!

The following expulsion caused by Danny's complete lack of common sense resulted in a giant sewage tsunami that swept everything and everyone on a ride of terror. The torrent of water stormed through the sewer with everything in it. James and Erika in their stroller were separated from everyone else Danny swam up and held them.

Danny: It's okay. Daddy's got you. Nothing can hurt you two now. (Danny crashed in to a pipe) Except that.

Slegg: You know what that sounds like?

Jazz: What?

Slegg: SEWAGE FALL!

As everyone down the gaping hole they all had different thoughts. Jazz's was "Well this is it, goodbye life." Slegg's was "Now I'll never get that hacksaw." Sam's was "This is fun!" And Danny was unconscious.

Jazz: Where are we going?

Sam: I'm no expert but I'd say we are headed for the vortex of terror!

To be continued...


	6. Rodriguez Part 1

Jazz Fenton's Heck 2: Rodriguez Part 1

Jazz, Danny, Sam, Slegg, James and Erica fell thousands of feet down into the vortex of terror. It was cool! Finally they landed and the nice filthy water broke their fall. Jazz got up and moaned in pain. She looked around and was relived to see that everyone seemed to be in one piece. Danny had regained consciousness and found himself on top of Sam.

Danny: You know Jazz, Sam and I spent most of our honeymoon in this position.

Sam: (Blushing) I was on top a good amount of the time too you know.

Danny: I wonder which one of us was on top when James and Erica were conceived...

Jazz: STOP! You guys are giving me **really** bad images!

D&S: Sorry.

The group got up and Slegg pointed at a strange shadowy figure.

Figure: G'Day Mates!

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Ooh, who is it? Find out in Rodriguez Part 2! And at this rate their might even be a rodriguez part 3!


	7. Rodriguez The Other Part

I won't say a word…

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A million years ago when no one you know was born there was stuff and monkeys. But that has nothing to do with anything so back to the 21st century in the sewer of sewery swereness. The figure stepped out of the shadows but do to blackmail and waffles of malicious intent I cannot describe him.

Jazz: Who are you?

Figure: (In fake Australian accent) I'm the Alligator Hunter Crikey! (Pronounced Crick-EE) I was once the greatest bloke there ever was but then that guy came along, Steve or something… He knocked me out of the starlight and I was subsequently mauled by starving Walruses at the San-Diego Zoo, leaving me horribly disfigured.

This was entirely true and one of the reasons why I can't describe him. Sam covered James and Erica's eyes and Danny was to busy retching to listen to his back story.

Alligator Hunter: Well, I guess its time to take you to Rodriguez now. Follow me mates.

The horribly disfigured guy led them to a huge throne room looking place. At the center was a toilet on which sat an old friend of sorts whose name was…

Danny & Sam: VALERIE!

Valerie: No, Valerie is gone my name is now RODRIGUEZ!

This caused them to start snickering.

Rodriguez: What?

Danny: That's a boy's name! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Rodriguez: Well uh, PREPARE TO DIE!

A set of cables appeared and tied Danny up.

Slegg: GASP! I found a penny.

Jazz: Okay this is just plain weird.

Rodriguez: After pants ate my butt leaving half the girl I once was I saw no choice but to turn evil.

Danny: If you ask me the smaller butt's an improvement. I love Sam's butt and it's pretty small.

Sam: Danny! Not in front of the children do we talk about liking body parts.

Slegg: (Whispers to Sam) I eat babies.

Sam grabbed James and Erica and scooted away from the Troll.

A massive electric shock zapped Danny, engulfing him in a cloud of dust. When it cleared something terrible had happened.

Rodriguez: Well it looks like Daniel is now Danielle!

Sam: NO! I'm married to and the biological mother of a girl's children! I'm going to be sick.

Danni: I don't want to be a girl change me back!

Rodriguez: Nope. X2-94782375910715-whatever get them!

Then from the shadows emerged the corpse of Vlad with what appeared to be a cash register in the place of his head as well as several robotic parts and stuff.

Jazz: Huh?

Vlad: I am Mc Service, the first ever fully automated cash register!

Rodriguez: Heh, still working out some of the bugs from his new "brain". Attack!

Vlad then grabbed James and Erica.

Vlad: All customer opinions are valued at 50 degrees Fahrenheit that'll be 2:95.

Sam: Give them back!

Vlad: Would you like fries that?

Danni: Who cares just give them back!

Vlad: (Hands Sam the kids and large hole opens up in his chest. A bag of fries shoot out at high velocity knocking Sam unconscious) Happy to be of service.

While no one was looking Slegg bent over Sam it seemed as if he was debating whether to take the babies or the fries, finally he settled on the fries and began eating the ravenously.

Rodriguez: I'm getting bored so here's the antidote. It's in one of these chocolates. But which one is it? B.O. Blast, Screaming Monkey, Murloc Madness, or Antidote.

Danni wolfed down all four of them.

Rodriguez: WHAT! Nobody's ever eaten the whole dang assortment. I'm afraid I'll have to kill you now.

A massive battle took place next. Finally Rodriguez aimed a gun at Danni's head.

Sam who just woke up said.

Sam: NO! Don't you dare shoot my husband, I mean wife, I mean whatever just don't shoot!

Rodriguez: No go Paul.

Jazz: We need help! And someone please tell me who the heck Paul is!

From the sky a heavily muscled guy in banana colored armor with a giant axe flew towards Rodriguez.

Killjoy: Arcanite Reaper HO!

Rodriguez then re-aimed the gun at Killjoy and fired causing a massive explosion.

Danni: What! I'm getting fat.

Danni kept growing and growing until she exploded, coating the room in chocolate.

Slegg: Anyone else think dat was cool?

Thankfully in the center stood someone…

* * *

Meanwhile back at the ranch, well actually it was in the untamed wilderness of Wisconsin. There in the middle of the wilderness sat a tiny person, with four fingers and bright pink hair. He was sobbing his eyes out. Then from the tree emerged a sneaky looking guy his name was Mulch.

Mulch: What's wrong little Gnome?

Dirti: Nobody wants to join my guild. (Sobs) Hey do want to join?

Mulch: Well, uh, what's your guild called?

Dirti: (Deep breath) The knights of the totally awesome and happy making friendly time!

Mulch: Actually I'm…

Dirti: But were really awesome we'll do your homework and wash your feet and we're working on doing an MC Raid once we have more members than just me. And we trade each other things all the time its really beautiful and I just want to cry sometimes. And I can't go outside because the sun hurts my eyes since I stay at home all day and eat pizza rolls! And we (Dirti speeds up until Mulch can no longer understand him.) (A few minutes later) So what do you think? You gonna join? You gonna to join? (Insane laughter)

Mulch: Well I'm already in a guild. But here's some advice.

Dirti: What?

Mulch: You shouldn't be sad that people won't join your guild. You should be angry! HOW DARE THEY NOT JOIN! WHAT? YOU'RE GUILD AINT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM?

Dirti: Yeah! I should be filled with supernatural rage. Starting with you!

Mulch: Oh o.

* * *

What happened to Danny and Rodriguez, what does Mulch have to do with anything, why am I asking you these questions. Find out next time! OH YEAH! 


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